‘the Nia Institute’ has come up many times in different forms in my life since I was about 16 or so.  Its been my dream that I want to fulfill, but have never just done it, mostly because I have focused on the wrong things* like design of the website, rather than on content, building community, and raising funds.

The Nia Institute started as a center for information about history and current events in the African and African diaspora communities.  I wanted to create reports which evaluated present conditions and linked them to past events. I guess I was trying to create a thinktank, although I didn’t call it that then.  It was suppose to grow from just an internet presence to a brick and mortar location, where there would be an educational type component as well as a community service component.  So, there would be classes about African history, music, literature, sociology, psychology, etc as well as social workers, counselors, small business center, etc.

Now, I get really excited about things in the summer (of course focusing on the wrong things like website design) yet when I finish the designing, school starts, and I don’t follow through with the plan until the following summer.  I believe this is a product of being busy, and if I didn’t have full-time school every September, I might be able to follow through on an idea.

I also believe this is associated with fears I have about success, and interacting with people who may disapprove of my ideas.  I know I need to work with people to achieve dreams such as this, and interacting with people on a daily basis has been a challenge in my life.  I tend to work well for 2 days, then need 2 day breaks all the while hoping people are doing things on their own.

So because I know my limitations, I try to work within them.  I always tried to think of ways I could do the Nia Institute idea on my own; How could I make it smaller and something I could accomplish on my own?

Sometimes I just thought I could make it simple, and take time to work through it.  Just make one report a month. Just write 1 article a week.  And eventually I would have a repository in which other people might want to add to it.  I never remember even following through on that idea…then I was really into some forums, and i thought why can’t i have  forum as well, but trying to work at finding people and asking them to post was much harder to put into fruition.

When blogging got really plebeian, I thought I could translate my ideas into a blog, and wouldn’t have to worry about the size it would eventually blossom into.   Again, I focused on what the page looked like, and then realized I needed content.  And then school started.

Yes, the cycle continued.

Now, I have a mild success.  I started a blog, not nia institute, but somewhat related.  It was called the African bride which focused on alternatives to white weddings…Now it was a summer start, however I didn’t stop working on it until March.  I borrowed a simple design I could live with, added a picture, and started on content.  I actually networked with a few people about wedding stuff, which was fun.  And when school started, I kept going! Until March.  I can’t really say I know what happened; There were winter storms, my grandfather who raised me passed away, and there were more events happening in school.  I do believe I may have been overwhelmed, and even as I write this, I don’t think I have been able to catch up.  I am still like 2-3 weeks behind on things.

Now, this is part of the continuum of the nia institute…yet it is a different formula.  I am actually going to let this turn into whatever it turns into, but I want to be active in creating something, something which provides service to others and purpose for myself.

*Wrong things really are just things that should not come at the expense of the things I mentioned afterward.
Advice to Self: Keep creating

I am really inspired by the following xkcd comic:

I like what this says about relationships, dreams and living life as you wish to live it.   Having a family member/friend/lover who will support you and be  a part of your dreams is a positive in anyone’s life. What is really salient to me when you are self-reflective and realize what is holding you back from a dream, you should push through whatever fears you have and act on your dreams.  If I want to travel, I should acknowledge whatever fears there are – minimize or eliminate them if necessary, and get to traveling.  What are my dreams?  What are my fears?  I haven’t been self reflective yet.

Advice to self: Write down 25 dreams.

Earlier I spoke on the idea of clothes, and luckily for me The Everyday Minimalist posted her idea of a 30 piece minimalist wardrobe (minus undies and accessories).  I think it was a good list for me because I get cold (hence lots of jackets and sweaters).  I think I would substitute one skirt and one dress for an extra shirt and jean.

Now, based on this list I think I may have 100 pieces of clothing not including underwear and accessories.  I might try to cut down before the summer is up, but more because thing are actually looking worn and holey, rather than I don’t wear them.

Below is a picture of her list, her post is The 30 pieces of a Minimalist’s Wardrobe.

Advice to self: Cut down on some clothes!

Chris Guillebeau author-blogger of “The Art of Non-Conformity” writes

“For far too long, we have failed to recognize the importance of EACH of these mindsets together—doing what you really want, and radically helping others.” ( A Brief Guide to World Domination)”

Of course after reading 7 Habits of Highly effective people, it comes down to the same idea; Being a proactive/non-conformist/purposeful person usually includes being of service to others (sometimes humanity).

I have not always acted within this framework, and alot of times I opted to get away from those people for my own sense of sanity.  And for a time it does help me relieve some anxiety.  Being around people for too long does bother me, and I need to go to the safety of my bedroom or some other quiet space to regroup.  However, I do need social interaction;  I am not a hermit who prefers to be away from all people for all time.  I like hanging out with friends, and talking with my, I just don’t party in the club or participate in other more extrovert type activities.

This is all to say however that I have a desire to be of service to humanity in some form.  And the best way I’ve thought so far is providing people information.  I enjoy research and learning new things, and keeping myself abreast of things i find interesting (Harry Potter 7 is in two parts!!!).  But I also enjoy being a tutor, and giving information I know about writing, grammar, and rhetoric so that people can become better writers themselves.  I enjoy being an administrator-like person (in action not in job), who knows the ins and outs of how my university and department function so if someone is frustrated, i can assist in telling them where and who they need to go to.

Now, my difficulty was always being passionate about what I want to do, people passionate about serving others AND not eat ramen for dinner. Combining 1 and 2 have been easy, tackling  #3 has been the challenge.

Advice to Self: Write a section of an informational guide, start tackling #3.

I don’t normally have cable, but I stayed at my mom’s house for the 4th of July. I watched a show called ’til debt do us part on CNBC. The premise is the host, Gail Vaz-Oxlade, goes to the house of a couple and gives them tasks to lower their debt and then they get 5 grand (Canadian?) towards their overall debt.

One of the tasks that Gail gives the couple is to make a 5 year plan of goals and dreams that you want to accomplish, and found out realistic numbers for those goals in dreams. One couple wanted to go backpacking in Europe and start having a baby. They found that artificial insemination isn’t as much as they thought ($3000 for the first go-round), and that the biological clock wasn’t ticking that fast (same risks at 28 as will be at 31). I thought this was a stellar idea, and I am going to invest in doing a similar kind of 5 year plan. Many things are going to be guesses, because there are alot of possibilities of plans in the next five years, but I still think its a good exercise.

Advice to self: Five year plan.